The phrase “be the best version of yourself” is everywhere — in fitness circles, self-improvement books, motivational videos, and social media captions. It’s become a kind of modern mantra, but one that’s often repeated without much clarity. What does it actually mean to be your best? And how do you know when you’re even close?

For me, this phrase has evolved from a cliché into a personal compass — a way of checking in with how I live, grow, and show up every day. In this post, I want to unpack what “the best version of yourself” really means to me, how I’ve come to define it through experience, and how you might build your own version of it — one that’s practical, sustainable, and true to who you are.

Because the truth is, your best isn’t a fixed destination. It’s a direction. And the better you understand what it means for you, the more purposefully you can move toward it — in fitness, health, and life as a whole.

As I looked back through my photos, exploring content that may still hold some relevance and interest to an audience, I was realizing that certain images evoked an immediate feeling or connection to the emotional, physical, mental, financial state I was in at the time of the photo.

What version of myself was I when I was single, engaged, married or divorced? Or when my son was born? Or when I was aspiring to play pro lacrosse vs. competing at the pro level, and then of course after the dream was over? Or how was my emotional state when my brother and I committed our lives to caring for our father battling glioblastoma? And how did that version evolve after he left us?

I think that each version of ourselves living in a particular stage of life is determined first and foremost by our foundation: our daily routine, our attitude toward success and failure, as well as our environment – living, working, and otherwise. In most cases, we have a choice in all of these factors. And if unavoidable, we always have the reasoned choice as to how we respond – perhaps our greatest power, and one too often relinquished to others.

Life is always changing. Therefor, we must accept that our best self is constantly evolving as well. We are a never ending series of adaptations, (hopefully) adding daily habits, behaviors, practices that elevate and bolster this best self, as well as removing the negative behaviors and barriers that stand in the way of this version.

For example, we may decide to increase our daily water intake, while limiting social alcohol consumption to one day per week. In another instance we may choose to modify our speech, by consciously taking a breath before we respond in a conversation; word choice, by removing curse words from our vocabulary; as well as self-talk, changing from an expression like “I’m an idiot,” to more encouraging phrasing like “C’mon man, you got this.”

So back to our Foundation, that daily support that gives us the ability to build whatever structure in life we choose above that level. A goal or purpose in life can be very helpful in reverse engineering your lifestyle holistically in order to attain the desired status, and point us toward the habits and choices/sacrifices me must make in order to keep moving toward the goal.

Many choose a simple, “single level” lifestyle comprised of basic primary needs – food, shelter, clothing – and finding that their best self, the self that is happiest and flourishing inside of that environment and the lifestyle it affords. Although this version of your self may not be able to run a fortune 500 company, or travel to multiple foreign countries every year if that is your end goal.

Others seem to thrive when more stimuli are present, more levels to the structure of their lifestyle, profession, etc., and a greater demand that the self operates at a higher frequency. So with that increase in volume and intensity, the individual must also consider the holistic habits and behaviors – like quality sleep and self care – in order to unwind the tension and allow themselves a regular reset of the nervous system. You may also be limited in quality time with the family, or lazy weekends at the beach if that was your intention.

Regardless of the lifestyle you choose, it is essential that the demands of your environment, including the unexpected, are met with active measures you take to care for your physiological and psychological needs. These active measures, daily habits, and behavior modifications designed to improve your life and propel you toward your goals are the bricks and mortar to your Foundation.

The stronger your baseline performance, the greater the integrity to your Foundation, the more likely you are to be delivering the best version of yourself to your sport, job, school, family – everywhere and anywhere you roam.

Lastly, and most importantly, accept the fact that you will rarely perform at 100%. No matter how hard you try to align your world perfectly before a competition, meeting, or other important life event. Hindsight is always 20/20, but that’s also the coolest part – the opportunity to reflect and take those lessons forward so we are continuously improving.

Identify a goal(s). Be realistic about the lifestyle and all that goes with reaching that destination. Commit to that purpose. Expect adversity. And remember, you are always in control of how you choose to respond to that adversity. My advice… take a deep breath, ask yourself the question “Is the response I am about to deliver aligned with the version of myself I wish to be?” Then, simply act.